OESOPHAGEAL LUBRICATION

Amazingly for the UK we are having a spell of wonderful sunny weather. This brings out the good and the bad in people – they become short-tempered, angry and generally unpleasant. I think this is a great pity as it spoils what should be a pleasant time, and turns it into a battle.

For example, this morning at 9 o’clock, I went into my local store; I picked out what I needed (not a great amount) and waited at the check-out. I took pity on the poor young girl sitting there having contend with a line of miserable, hot holiday-makers and when my time came to be served, I lined up my purchases in front of her and gave her a big smile.

She wasn’t expecting this but responded similarly. Everything was going well, until the woman behind me said: “It’s very early in the day to be buying alcohol, isn’t it? It shouldn’t be sold until after 12”.

This pissed me so I turned to her and said: “Madam, this is NOT alcohol, it’s oesophageal lubrication and not to be shared with people like you!”

She turned bright red… and I walked away very happily with my beer…

Until next time (cheers, prosit, or whatever else turns you on),

Peripatetic Scribe