HARD CORE

Sorry, voyeurs, nothing for you here – but I’m sure you know where to find it! I’m talking friends and acquaintances. Yes we all have them – I’m happy to say. But how do we distinguish between the two or don’t we?

Regular readers will have grown accustomed to my (often) different point of view so I will make no exception this time…..

The trend in “social networking” has in my opinion falsified any differentiation between these two groups; now, everyone is a “friend” of someone else. I cannot see the logic behind this, unless it is an extension of the old phrase “the enemy of my enemy is my friend.” And I guess it is at this point I should draw my distinction between these two “tribes”. Let’s consider acquaintances first; the lady who sells me my bread is an acquaintance – built up over many years of going to the same shop and gradually engaging in conversation – not deep but nevertheless satisfying to both parties. The security guard who looks after my boat (and those of others) when we are not there is an acquaintance but to a lesser extent than the bread lady. What I am saying is that the quality of the relationship that exists is on a firm but distant basis; I would never call them by their first name and would expect them to reciprocate.

Friends are a different category – and these are MY “hard core”; these are people for whom I would cut off my right arm (not the left as you know that I am “sinister” by nature!) This state of affairs has come about through a deep and mutual level of trust over many, many years, trust that has been built up by mutual help and understanding in good times and bad (especially the bad since this brings out the true level of friendship). Whereas the numerical value of my circle of acquaintances is vast, the number of true friends I can count on the fingers of both hands. Thus, a hard core of friends surrounded by a “cloud” of acquaintances. 

Allow me to consider also the current trend of social networking. As I said everyone is now a “friend”; I regard this as rubbish. Facebook is such that it aims to bring together like-minded individuals, but whether this ‘condominium of individuality’ can be thought of as having a “friendship” value I have severe doubts. LinkedIn is again different since its aim is more “corporate oriented” and serves merely as a vehicle to put people in touch, with a distinct economic benefit to both parties. In the course of time, someone somewhere will create a new site – rather than focusing on friends and acquaintances it will focus on enemies and it will attract billions of people who have a channel to share their enemies!

My views perhaps may be unpopular – but they are mine. Many may find solace and happiness from belonging to a “tribe” that perceives itself as “friendship oriented”; if so, OK by me! But please never ask me to join – I value myself and my close and intimate circle as untouchable and will under no circumstances degrade our mutual efforts at reaching our high level of friendship.

Until next time (outside a tribe),

Peripatetic Scribe