ST. PETER AND THE BUREAUCRAT

I suppose that to some degree or other bureaucracy is necessary, whether it is to protect the weaker members of society or even protect us from ourselves. But, as with all things in life, there must be a balance – but I have yet to find it within bureaucracy, as it must always be remembered that their “output” can only be judged in terms of their retaining their jobs and creating a cascade of red tape. 

I have this “vision” of a bureaucrat dying and treading the long stairway upwards until he meets St. Peter who says to him:

“Ah, yes, we’ve been expecting you. You’re from government, aren’t you? Naturally, entrance is not automatic and depends upon a number of aspects, each of which has to be thoroughly checked. We have our rules as laid down by our Chief Executive and they cover every possibility. Naturally, we must work according to the rules. Take these pink forms and complete them in triplicate; keep the third copy and return the others to me. I keep the second copy and the original goes to the Evaluation Committee. The Committee is very over-worked as we do not have sufficient staff, due to budget controls, to give a rapid response; however, in due course they will evaluate your application and the Evaluation Committee will give their final decision. That decision will be counter-signed by our Chief Executive (who is also extremely busy with state matters) and passed to me. Take this blue ticket and keep it with you at all times; this is your reference number and will be quoted in all official correspondence. Please now go into the next room and complete the forms, pass them to the second angel on the left when completed and take a seat. Don’t call us, we’ll call you.”

As the bewildered bureaucrat leaves for his task, St. Peter looks at him with an eagle eye, punches the air triumphantly and says, with a broad smile:

“Gotcha!!!!”

Until next time,

P.S.